Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

Out of all the things this dumbass would pull out, it was the fucking dildo—and if he didn't wave it around someone like Cindy, I would've loved a repeat of the time from this other love hotel where we found a bunch and used them as fucking lightsabers and a percussive instrument for one of Phil Collin's songs.

'He's having too much fun…'

In any case, once I entered the room he was just in, the place was definitely packed with myriad shit ranging from essential stuff to luxury items.

I wasn't even sure how they found the time to collect several mini-fridges—and it was unfortunate some of the items had already expired inside—but two of seven had melted chocolate, ice cream, etc. and it'd be at least a year before we reach the expiration date.

But yeah, I asked Tatiana to lead the group up with a few others while I checked everything here with Isaac because we were only in one of three rooms and we didn't even know what else we could find in this place.

I would've helped her clear the following floors but Kuzma just kicked it up a notch and started clearing floors at record speed. In any case, the most Tatiana could do with the rest of the squad was see if they had more things they could work on in regards to clearing rooms and taking care of the dead.

So, I'm here with Isaac in this executive room looking around:

"You checked for weapons?"

"Pretty basic shit, dude. Machetes, knives, baseball bats— We'll see in the other rooms if they have guns."

"Psh. Unless I find a treasured blade here, I'm pretty good."

"You sure? You can still trade the shit you keep for items you might find later." Continue reading stories on empire

"Ah— If you put it like that then I'll take the most expensive shit."

"Except for the guns and ammo, alright? You can only have one of those and if you don't want any of them, we can trade it in for a better one—"

"How about crossbows, dude? You have a few, right?"

"If you're going at it alone, sure, but its caveat is pretty useless if everyone else has guns, right?"

"I mean— can I have one?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "If you put it that way, sure. It's one more thing to learn but make sure to not forget everything else. You're trying to learn too much shit at once."

"Yeah, yeah— Oh, what's this thing? Needles?"

"That's— Oh. Those are needles for acupuncture. Want me to open all of your meridians to unlock your qi paths?"

Isaac stopped in his tracks, "Bro— You— Don't joke with me like that, alright?! I'm—"

"Fine, fine~ If you don't want to, be my guest—"

"BROOOO~ STOP!"

"HAHAHAHA!!! It'd be nice if it's that easy, huh?"

"Heh—"

I mumbled, "You gotta experience death for that…"

"You said something, bro? Death?"

I chuckled, "I'm still fucking around, glad to see your ears are doing fine—"

"Asshole! Whoa~ Shiiit~ These are Pocket Monster cards— Ah, fuck… Their family photos are here too… Shit…"

"You okay?"

"Yeah— Just caught off-guard. I'm good."

"Alright. Breach the other doors for me and I'll take the lead."

"Sure, bro."

At that point, we found pretty much the same thing in the other rooms but what surprised me was the amount of canned goods they managed to hold on to plus the variety of guns they managed to hoard themselves.

To be fair, they were right next to a shopping mall but if they managed to hole up here while the dead outside was that many, they had fucking balls of steel to choose this place as their hideout.

But yeah, the special variety we found was a fucking Colt Python chambered in.357 Magnum, a Kimber 1911 chambered in.45 ACP, and last but not the least, an MP5 chambered in 9mm—but the weird thing was, it had a muzzle brake instead of a suppressor.

Isaac tilted his head, "It helps with recoil, right? If I remember correctly—"

"Sure, but… with an MP5? With a flash hider, maybe~ or if someone had a different style of aesthetics but it's running a 9mm, you don't need a muzzle brake for that. Unless you really have bad control but— ugh… If anything, it's like with lifting weights, focus on how you do it properly first before adding on accessories. Remember the time I lifted with Sebastian?"

"Yeah?"

"That's one of the few times I actually used a lifting belt and shit. It does help but if someone is a beginner, you shouldn't stick to external stuff that'd help(?) you right off the bat. If someone learns the proper techniques first, like with shooting guns, they'd learn a muzzle brake on an MP5 isn't that… useful."

"Because they're pretty much used to a niner's recoil?"

"Exactly."

"I see… Must be why Oscar told me to take off the muzzle brake on this 88 even if it would help me with it."

I nodded, "Well, it's already pretty uncommon to use muzzle brakes on shotty's—except for those in competition—but it pays to not rely on them too much. So, what are you taking home?"

A smile then formed on Isaac's face, "I guess I'll probably take the MP5, one of the mini-fridges, that gaming laptop, the defibrillator, those Jordans, that diamond ring in the 2nd room, this silver chain, that Switch, that bottle of edible lube, and whatever the fuck this key is used for."

I chuckled from his choices before looking closely at the key he found:

"Ah… This is for a motorcycle. An NMAX, I think?"

"For real?! Shiii~ I really hit the jackpot, didn't I?"

I rolled my eyes, "You didn't. I know it's your birthday, asshole— I checked your file."

"Bro!" Isaac didn't know what to do.

"What? It's common decency, no?"

"BRO!"

"WHAT?!"

"BROOOO!!!"

"If you hug me with that bottle of lube in your hand, I swear to fucking god—"

"BROOOOOOOO!!!"

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