I Woke Up Piloting the Strongest Starship, so I Became a Space Mercenary

It was the day after my perception of the people of the Holy Vuelzarus Empire as mystical and serious people had completely shattered. Now, they were firmly imprinted in my mind as a group of dangerous people prone to random, reckless, and large-scale blunders.

「Well… thou seest… I would like to deny it, yet I cannot; thy impression is largely correct.」

「I thought so.」

「One could even say that such a part of our nature is what led this one to become a cursed existence like this…」

The nine-tailed beauty blew smoke from her pipe looking utterly deflated, so much it even clouded her usual beauty.

Ah, so that’s how it went, huh? The reason you became like this… a ‘higher’ or ‘elevated’ existence that only peculiar individuals like me can perceive must be the result of one of those ‘blunders’ that the people of the Holy Vuelzarus Empire love to make from time to time. The people of the Holy Vuelzarus Empire are probably the type who go, ‘Hey, this might just work! Let’s try it!’—acting without considering the consequences. Then they regret it afterward.

「Not every soul is like that… Though I am… So, couldst thou refrain from unearthing any more of my emotional scars?」

「Could you quit sulking while casually reading my thoughts?」

Once again, I’m brushing her tails, but I wish she’d stop using the unbrushed ones to softly smack and fluff my face. It’s pleasant, but I can’t see a thing.

「So? Hast thou called me here merely to create this twisted situation where thou dost bully me whilst tending to my tails, hm?」

「I handled the space monsters as you requested, so I’m here to report on that. Also, when I mentioned I was coming here, they showered me with a bunch of gifts.」

I handed over a wrapped bundle I had prepared, and the nine-tailed beauty took it with an uninterested look, beginning to unwrap it without much enthusiasm.

「Well, gifts are regularly delivered to my chamber at the shrine, so I expected naught unusual—wait, what is this strange thing?」

「Oh, that. It’s a collection of rations and exotic delicacies from other countries that one of my crew members enjoys collecting. I chose the ones I’ve actually tasted and found good.」

「Thou didst eat this? This… thing?」

「Can you stop looking at me like I’ve committed some culinary crime? Embrace it. Food diversity.」

She picked up a vacuum-sealed pack of what looked disturbingly like a facehugger by its edges, glancing at me repeatedly in disbelief. Sure, it looks awful, but it’s delicious—smooth and creamy.

「Well, I suppose ‘twould be rude to discard a gift… Yet, thou art indeed a strange one. Thou keepest saying thou dost not wish to acquire any further strange powers that would push thee beyond human bounds, yet thou returnest here to train in the Third Spiritual Form. Dost thou not find it strange?」

「I mean, I’m not thrilled about it, but missing out on power when it’s available is a disadvantage…」

「Thou art likely the only one who would approach training in the Third Spiritual Form with such a miserly mindset… Know this: the Third Spiritual Form is the most potent form of power one can attain, capable of interfering with the very principles of the world itself.」

「Power is power, no matter how strong. It’s a tool like any other. Whether or not I use it, or how I use it, is my choice.」

When I said that, the nine-tailed beauty looked at me with a hint of pity in her gaze.

「Such casual thinking is precisely how I ended up in this state. Though, perhaps, thou shalt not meet the same fate as I.」

「Uh, I’d rather not end like that.」

「Seeing how easily thou dost cross between sides, thou shalt likely be fine… about 80% of the time.」

「20% sounds pretty risky… but I’ll do it anyway.」

If I ever end up like her, unable to return, I’d just use the Third Spiritual Form I’ve learned to force my way back to the other side if I have to.

「So, what is this place exactly? It feels like time has stopped for everyone but us.」

「This is the boundary betwixt this world and the other, though we are still quite near to this side. The phase is but slightly offset.」

「I sort of get it… and sort of don’t.」

Aren’t you just saying words that sound very meaningful, but in reality don’t mean anything? Maybe you don’t know either…

「Do not be rude! Thou art but a novice in the Third Spiritual Form, and already thou darest to speak so boldly?」

「As I said before, could you stop casually reading my thoughts? There, all done.」

With nine tails to brush, it was a serious task to make each one smooth and neat. Isn’t there some kind of fully-automated tail-care machine? Something like, ‘Perfect, fluffy tail care for those living solo’? Wouldn’t she appreciate a useful appliance like that more than sweets, tea, or incense? Maybe I’ll ask Moegi about it later.

「Thou… art thou mistaking me for some dried-up, left-on-the-shelf woman?」

「In terms of being an ultimate loner, isn’t it about the same?」

「Very well, that is enough. I accept thy challenge. Worry not; I shall merely beat thee senseless and drain thy balls dry. Thou wilt survive… mostly.」

「That sounds like a recipe for getting stuck here forever! Stop! Stop!」

With her nine tails bristling and an ominous purple aura swirling around her, the nine-tailed beauty approached, smiling step by step. A battle I can’t afford to lose has begun.

☆★☆

「So, yeah, that’s how I barely managed to win and get back.」

「「「…」」」

Kugi and the others, hearing my explanation, covered their faces with both hands, looked up at the ceiling, pressed their temples, or simply froze with wide eyes. Well, from their perspective, I stood up, casually saying, ‘I’ll go train with the nine-tailed beauty’, grabbed a bundle, and the very next moment, I came back battered and completely drained. No wonder they are confused.

「Um… so… what happened to that person?」

「Oh, right. In the end, it turned into more of a wrestling match, a messy brawl where we tried to drain each other’s power…」

「And then…?」

「My quick thinking won the match, I decided to change my approach and poured all my psionic power into her, and then… well, she kind of just… poofed.」

「Gulp…」

At this point, Kugi’s face went pale, and she rolled her eyes back in shock. The priests and shine maidens had fainted, foaming at the mouth, while Fuguruma was in the same state as Kugi, and Inaba had fainted on her feet.

「I didn’t expect things to turn out like that…」

「Indeed, thou hast truly done it this time.」

The nine-tailed beauty reappeared, seemingly materializing from thin air. She looked almost the same as before, but if you looked closely, her body was slightly translucent. Seeing her like this made even Kugi faint and collapse. Actually, the only ones still conscious were those observing the situation from a considerable distance. Even Buubo, who had been watching from a little ways away, was standing with his eyes rolled back, passed out. I thought he’d be fine given how tough he usually is, but maybe he’s more sensitive than he looks.

「Oh my, what a delightful selection we have here. So, is the one with three tails the attendant with whom thou hast been getting cozy?」

「Well, yes, but… can’t you put it a little more tactfully?」

「‘Tis the very same. Now, let me see… hmm, it doth appear this might just work. Quite a talented one, is she not?」

The nine-tailed beauty floated over, pressing a fingertip to Kugi’s forehead with a triumphant smile that was, honestly, rather sinister.

「I’d really prefer to get her consent first, you know.」

「A trial run shall suffice, shall it not? If there be an issue, well, there is a fine selection lying about here as well.」

She gestured toward Fuguruma, Inaba, Moegi, and Konoha, all of whom were sprawled out, unconscious.

「Have some mercy… There’s really no risk in this, right? I’m a little scared after hearing what happened with the Emperor.」

「This one shall not make the same blunder as that thoughtless fool. I have prepared safeguards.」

「Why don’t you try it somewhere else first? Look, Buubo there should be perfect.」

「That one is male, is he not? I cannot fully guarantee what might occur should I enter a body of the opposite sex. Besides, this one here is a ‘Kugi’, an offering, is she not? There is naught to worry about.」

With a mischievous smile, the nine-tailed beauty stuck her tongue out at me before slipping into Kugi’s body.

Ah… I’m definitely going to have to apologize to Kugi after this. I didn’t expect her to faint just from the explanation alone.

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