Tales From the Terran Republic

“Logan, what the fuck?” Sheila asked in confusion as she looked at the AK leveled at her.

“Yourre worth a lot of money girrrlll,” Delores giggled as she pointed her submachine gun at Sheila’s head.

“Drop the weapons!” Greg yelled as he started to raise his AK.

“Everybody calm down,” Sheila said quietly. “They got the drop on us.” She turned to Logan, “Look, sweetie, I don’t know what is going through your head right now but we don’t have to do this.”

“Yes, we do,” Logan replied, “As Delores said, you are worth a lot of credits, enough to take you out.”

“Do you honestly think you can do that?” Sheila asked. “Look around. Do you think you can get out of this room alive.”

“If we start shooting, maybe not,” Logan replied. “But we aren’t going to start shooting are we?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Sheila replied.

“You are worth a lot but here’s the thing. The Federation wants you alive. Oh, they will happily take you dead but the bonus for bringing you in breathing is more than what your entire team is worth. What’s in your head is priceless. What you know, who you know, where you get your nukes… The Federation wants all of that and they are willing to pay.” Logan paused for a moment and smiled. “If we start shooting, especially with what we have loaded in these babies, we might lose but win or lose a lot of your people will die and I know you won’t let that happen, especially over one of your mistakes.”

“Yeah,” Logan laughed, “You trusted me. Are you really going to let your people die because of an error in your judgment, especially when you have been warned about me? I know Greg over there hates my guts and hasn’t trusted me from the start.”

Sheila just stood there shaking with anger and pain.

“Goddammit, Logan. You’re a Terran. You are one of us!”

“I’m not one of nobody. All that Terra and Republic bullshit I was spouting was just that, bullshit. I just said what I needed to so I could get into your pants and into your jobs. Right now, the Federation is paying a lot more than the Republic ever did.”

“Do you honestly think they will honor a deal with a Terran?” Greg said as he pointed his rifle at Logan. “Ask Cyrus Red about deals with Fed Intel.”

“I’m not an idiot like Red. They have a long history of dealing in good faith when it comes to bounties like Little Miss Sheila. I’ve worked with them off and on for years. This is just another business transaction for them, nothing more.”

“Logan, fuck...” Sheila stammered “Why?”

“The money, baby-girl,” Logan chuckled, “Credits, credits, credits… Look, here’s the deal. You come along quietly and nobody else on your crew dies.”

Sheila just stood there seeming completely lost.

“… Ok. Deal. You get me and everybody else walks.”

Her crew shouted in outrage.

“You can’t possibly expect us to just stand here and let-” Greg started to shout.

“It’s an order, Greg. My last one,” Sheila said calmly. “There is no need for anyone else to die today and he is right. This is my mistake, my fuck up. Usually when a commanding officer screws up this badly their people pay the price. I have the chance to avoid that and I’m taking it. You will all lower your weapons and as long as they don’t make any moves you will let them walk.”

“Sheila!”

“That’s an order!” Sheila snapped. “Please, just lower your weapons. It’s over,” she said in a gentler tone. “Look, we all knew that the party would end one day. For me, that’s today. As Logan said, there is no need for anyone else to pay for my mistake.”

“One more thing,” Logan said with a sneer, “We are taking the numbered bank accounts. How, exactly, do we extract them from the banking computers?”

“Oh they are just data drives. You can just yank them out like any other brick,” Jessie said without her usual cheerful tone.

“Do you think I’m a fucking idiot?” Logan snarled. “The contract on Sheila just says alive. It doesn’t say in what condition or how many parts are still attached. If we lose those accounts she will lose pieces.”

“Ok,” Jessie said quietly, “We aren’t completely sure. We know that there are some safeguards against that sort of thing. Because there are so many credits they don’t want a counterfeiting issue, somebody copying an account and then still having it showing as an asset for example. If it’s done wrong the whole thing goes away. We were planning on just shutting down the server and relocating it to our ship where I could take my time.”

“Ok. That’s what we are going to do,” Logan said as he walked over and pointed his gun at Sheila’s head. “You go with a couple of my men and shut down the computer properly. We will then move the whole thing to our ship.”

“There is no way in hell that I will help you-” Jessie stopped short as Logan pulled out a knife and pressed it against Sheila’s cheek drawing blood. “Fine! Fine! Why the fuck do you want that shit anyway? There is no way you can crack it.” she snarled.

“I don’t have to crack it, darling,” Logan chuckled. “Salvage fee. Twenty percent, taken from a pirated ship marooned in deep space. I’ll get twenty percent of the value of the accounts minus the generous share given to the good councilor here for facilitating the whole transaction. I capture a dangerous threat to the Federation, save a councilor’s life, and salvage billions of credits all in one day’s work. I’m not only set for life it’s all one hundred percent legal. The few gray areas in this whole affair will go away with a little help from Fed Intel and more importantly a certain now very safe and soon to be very rich councilor who won’t get his billions unless the salvage is considered legit.” He turned to Sheila. “Like I said, I’ve been thinking about my future.” He then turned to his crew. “Toby, Sue, go with Jessie here and keep an eye on her.” With that Toby, Sue, and Jessie all left the room.

“The rest of us are going to my ship,” Logan said. “Don’t get in our way and there will be no problems.”

“Radio the teams and have them move away from the cargo hold and into the promenade,” Sheila said in a subdued voice. “Let’s try to keep some order.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Greg said quietly as he lowered his weapon and raised his communicator.

***

They managed to keep all of the squads out of the way and out of the loop as Logan and Sheila made their way to the docking bay, Councilor Morgan in tow. As the door to Logan’s ship opened he turned to the councilor.

“Councilor...” He stood aside with a little bow gestured towards the open hatch.

“One moment,” the councilor said and he turned to Sheila. “Oh you are going to pay. I will see to it. You are going to fucking pay. Oh, and one more thing...” He balled up his fist and punched Sheila in the face. Sheila staggered back but didn’t otherwise respond. She just spit the blood from her split lip onto the deck.

“Nice punch, councilor, but let’s not push things,” Logan said as he nervously looked at Sheila’s enraged crew. “Just… Just get into the ship, now.”

“Last chance, Logan,” Sheila said quietly to him. “Last chance.”

“For what?” Logan sneered as he shoved her into his ship.

***

“Ok,” Logan said as he walked into his cargo hold. “You sit right here,” he said to Sheila as he pushed her onto a bench running alongside the hold and then he handcuffed each arm and leg to chains running through the bench framework.

“Sure you don’t want me up front where you can keep an eye on me, personally?” Sheila said with a sweet innocent smile.

“Yeah, you’d like that wouldn’t you? No, I think I would prefer a nice thick bulkhead between you and anything remotely vital. You stay back here.”

“Oh you’re no fun at all.”

***

Out in the docking bay Helena just looked at Sheila’s crew completely dumbfounded.

“And you are all just going to let them take her?” Helena asked, almost outraged.

“She is our commanding officer and she gave us an order,” Roberts replied. “Sometimes you get orders you don’t agree with, orders you absolutely hate, but you follow them.”

“I don’t understand. She is one of your crew!”

“We decided from the start that we would keep a military structure and this is part of that. If you start second guessing and only following the orders you like then everything falls to hell.”

“But...”

“Look, it might be hard to understand but you have to trust the system, and trust her. This was her call. We have to accept it.

The doors opened and Jessie entered followed by two of Logan’s crew, Toby and Sue, who were pushing hovercarts loaded with computer equipment. Once inside the bay Jessie flipped them off and rejoined her crew.

“They were watching me too close,” Jessie said. “I couldn’t do shit. They got everything.”

“It’s ok, Jessie,” Greg said patting her shoulder, “We’ve lost a lot more than a few credits today.”

“It’s not that, Greg,” Jessie wailed, “They caught me when I tried to slip a beacon in one of the drive bays. I thought...”

“It’s ok, Jessie. It’s ok.”

Jessie burst into tears, falling to her knees and sobbing loudly as the cargo hatch to Logan’s ship closed, his engines flared to life, and his ship lifted off and sped from the White Star.

As the ship streaked off into the endless night Jessie stopped crying.

“The tears were a nice touch,” Greg said with a chuckle.

“Thanks,” Jessie chirped. “I learned to cry on command back in my juvie days!”

Helena looked confused.

Roberts patted Helena on the shoulder and said with a cold smile, “Remember when I said that Gloria was nothing compared to Sheila...”

***

“Woo! I can’t believe that worked!” Clara, Logan’s second in command exclaimed as they fled the White Star.

“I told you it would,” Logan laughed, “Everyone is so scared of Sheila but she is human just like anyone else. Find the right button, push it, and they crumple. There was no way she was going to let her people die over what she thought was her fuck up if she could help it… Hmm…” Logan said as he wiggled his flight controls.

“What?” Clara asked.

“Oh, the ship is acting a little funny… a little sluggish… We aren’t getting much more than two and a half gees worth of acceleration. Weird.”

“Let me check,” Clara said as she pulled up some displays. “Well everything looks ok but the power output of the reactor is a little low. It says everything’s ok, though.”

“Meh, we will check it out after we jump,” Logan said and then laughed. “Fuck it. We will just buy a new ship!”

His crew laughed along with him. Logan swiveled in his chair and turned to Councilor Morgan. “How are you holding up, big guy?”

“I was captured, beaten, nearly killed, and am now sitting in piss-soaked pants… I feel fucking great!” He laughed. “Christ, what a fucking day! Oh tell me, what is Fed Intel going to do to that bitch.”

“They won’t just break her, they will turn her. They will systematically drug and torture her until her will completely breaks and then they will rebuild her psyche bit by bit turning her into a humble and loyal pet after which she will happily betray everything and everyone she holds dear.”

“Splendid! I think I just may have to get access to the footage. Perhaps I will pay her a visit after she breaks… I could use a new bedside pet.”

“That’s the spirit!” Logan laughed. “I knew I would like you!”

“Now, Logan was it?” the councilor said in a happy friendly tone. “Let’s talk about those billions of credits you mentioned...”

***

Sheila lounged in the cargo bay trying to get as comfortable as she could. She looked at the guy they had back there with her.

“Hey, kid,” Sheila said to him.

“What?”

“So what’s your name? Haven’t seen you on Logan’s crew before.”

“Toby,” He said stiffly as he clutched his rifle.

“Relax, Toby, I don’t bite.”

“They warned me about you. Don’t try nothing.”

“Oh they did? What did they say?”

“They said that you would behave yourself until we lifted off and then all bets were off and that you were fucking dangerous.”

“Good call. They are absolutely correct but as you can see,” Sheila said as she wiggled her arms, “I’m quite securely… secure. Can you at least reengage your safety? You are making me really nervous. We are going to be spending a few hours together so at least try to relax.”

“A few hours?”

“However long this trip will take I mean. A few hours is a figure of speech.”

“Oh, ok.”

“So, how long have you worked for Logan?”

“A few months.”

“So not long then. I guess that’s why he left you back here with me. You’re the disposable one!”

“I am not!”

“Sure you are! You’re the ‘canary’.”

“Canary?”

“Back in ancient times when people mined deep in the earth they would bring along a little bird, a canary. If the air started to go bad the bird would die and that would be an alarm for the miners, the actual valuable people, so they could take appropriate action. Tell me,” Sheila said with a smile, “Are you wearing a vitals monitoring device?”

Toby shifted uncomfortably. As a matter of fact he was.

“See! You’re totally a canary! When I kill you, sorry… If I were to kill you which I am totally not going to do, they get an alarm. Don’t feel bad. The new guy is always the canary on Logan’s crew. That’s why they are always hiring.”

“Bullshit.”

“Fine, don’t believe me,” Sheila said as she watched him grip his AK and back away from her.

***

“Yeah, something is definitely wrong with the thrusters,” Logan said as he shrugged.

“I’ve run diagnostics twice and everything checks out though,” Clara replied. “Hey, Delores,” she asked, “How much longer before you are ready?”

“Not long,” She said, “This first jump is just to get away so it doesn’t have to be that precise.”

“Yeah,” Logan said, “I’ll feel a lot better after we put some distance between us and Sheila’s crew. We can take our time after that.”

“Why do you guys sound so scared of Sheila and her crew?” the councilor asked.

“Because they are pure evil!” Bill, one of Logan’s gun hands laughed, “They are about the meanest, nastiest, slipperiest, of all the crews out there. Seriously. They are bad news.”

“And we have their queen tied up in the back,” Logan laughed. “Right now they are trying to figure out how to get us, make no mistake. We got the drop on them and I knew right where to push but I think all of us will breathe a lot easier once we have a light year or two between us and the White Star.”

“Hey, what’s up with the shield?” Clara muttered as she started flipping through some screens. “Weird.”

“What’s up?” Logan asked with a smile.

“Nothing… Something… I don’t know. Our shields are registering some weird shit. Maybe some ions but I’m not seeing anything.”

“Well the old girl is a bit worn,” Logan replied wiping some sweat from his forehead.

“Yeah, might be something in space around here,” Clara said shifting uncomfortably. “Hurry up with that jump, Delores.”

***

“Hey, canary,” Sheila said with a smile.

“Quit fucking calling me that!”

“Ok, red shirt,” Sheila chuckled. “I got a question for you.”

“Yeah?”

“When you and all of the rest of your guys were out there looting did you hear any screams or cries for help coming from a locked shop?”

“Yeah, some porkies pissed you guys off, right?”

“You could say that. They were using Terran children as sex slaves. We considered that annoying.”

“Damn. So that’s why.”

“Yeah. Do you know what we did to them?”

“No.”

“One of my crew, a lovely woman named Gloria, the pretty blonde with the scary eyes, you might have seen her around?”

Toby flinched. He saw her and she was fucking terrifying.

“Yeah, her. When someone annoys us we give them to her and this time she crucified them. Sometimes she skins them alive, or burns them, or… damn the stories I could tell… I’m getting off track here. She is our torturer. She’s really good at it. Those kid-touchers? It’s going to take them days to die.” Sheila paused and looked Toby in the eyes. “Those were people who just annoyed us a little. What we did to them was more based on principle than anything else. When someone actually pisses us off… hoo boy! Shit gets ugly.”

“Yeah, so?” Toby said shifting uncomfortably edging further away from Sheila. Sheila, with a little difficulty, oriented her head, body, and arm so she could read her watch.

“Yeah, it will be pretty soon.”

“What will be?”

“In just a little while Logan is going to be very upset and he will tell you to kill me.”

“What?”

“Yeah, he is going to want you to kill me, who is worth God knows how much to him alive. Now when that happens you need to ask yourself a question. It’s an important one. The question is what move will be in your best interest.”

“What?”

“Now if for some reason this ship were to encounter oh I don’t know… some sort of problem… then it could be within the bounds of possibility that my ship could catch up with you and my crew could… oh I don’t know… force their way in through that airlock behind you. I mean it is remotely possible right?”

“Uh...”

“Now if that were to happen and I were alive and well then it is quite possible that you could walk away completely free and unharmed by them, maybe even with a few credits in your pocket. On the other hand… If they were to walk in here and I happened to be dead by your hand… well…” Sheila paused and smiled a smile of pure evil. “Then what happened to you wouldn’t be a matter of principle. It would be personal and they would be very very… very angry. I wonder what they would do to you. What do you think they would do to you… canary?”

“Shit,” Toby said as he rushed to the intercom and pressed the button. Nothing happened. Sheila just sat there and smiled.

“Yeah, that’s not going to work,” she said pleasantly.

Toby grabbed his communicator.

“Logan! This is Toby! We have a problem! Logan!”

There was no response. Sheila just laughed pleasantly.

“Too bad they can’t hear you peeping, canary. Peep all you want but nobody will hear you.”

Toby looked around in desperation. He ran over and grabbed a large turnbuckle wrench and ran towards the bulkhead.

“Look. Just stop,” Sheila said with a malevolent grin. “If you start beating on the wall they might hear and they might activate the intercom. If they do someone who looks and sounds exactly like you will tell them that you aren’t the one beating on the wall and you are hearing the weird noise too. The only thing that you will achieve is that you will give me a headache and because of that I will have my men chop off your arms when they get here.

Toby just stopped and let the wrench fall to the deck.

“Smart move, canary. Now behave yourself and I give you my personal guarantee than nobody on my crew will harm you. Heck. I’ll even give you fifty thousand credits, why not?”

***

Logan shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He was decidedly not feeling well. Clara, looking quite pale, jumped out of her chair and ran to the bathroom.

“How much longer?” Logan demanded as he turned to Delores.

“Goddammit, quit distracting me!” Delores said irritably, “You keep on pestering me and I can’t think straight! Oh shit.” Delores jumped away from her desk and ran over to the bathroom pounding on the door. “Clara! Hurry up! I gotta go!”

“Just a fucking minute! Jesus!” Clara yelled through the door. Delores made a sprint towards the crew quarters, the location of the closest other bathroom.

“I’m not feeling all that well either,” Councilor Morgan said as he clutched at his stomach. “I guess all the stress of the day is catching up with me.”

“Yeah, we just need to jump and everything will be fine,” Logan said looking a little flushed. “Goddammit Delores! Pinch it off! We need to get out of here!”

A few minutes later Delores shakily entered the bridge. “Sorry about that. Maybe that last batch of snowshadow was off or something.”

“Whatever,” Logan said his voice full of irritation. “Just get back to it and hurry up. As soon as we get the fuck out of here we can relax.”

Clara staggered out of the bathroom looking quite flushed. “Christ, what did I eat?” she muttered as she returned to her chair. “Delores, how long before we can get the fuck-”

“WOULD EVERYBODY JUST FUCKING BACK OFF? SHIT! I CAN’T THINK WITH ALL OF YOU FUCKERS UP MY ASS!” Delores shrieked.

“Jesus, Delores, chill,” Logan said as he got up and headed towards the bathroom.

“YOU WANT TO JUMP? FINE! WE CAN FUCKING JUMP!” Delores yelled at the top of her voice as she started punching numbers into the hyperdrive controls.

“Delores! Relax! Just take a breath and… oh god...” Clara said as she rubbed the side of her head. “It’s fine. Just-”

“NO IT ISN’T FINE. IT’S HOW LONG DELORES HOW LONG DELORES HOW LONG?!? YOU WANT OUT OF HERE? FINE! HERE WE GO!”

“N-now wait a moment… Delores isn’t it,” the councilor said wiping cold clammy sweat from his brow, “You mustn’t rush.”

“HURRY UP DON’T HURRY UP FUCK! MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MINDS!” Delores yelled her face turning red. “You know what? You want to jump? We’re fucking jumping!” She started hammering keys at her control station. Clara tried to leap out of her seat to stop her but stumbled and fell.

“HERE WE GO!” Delores shrieked as she started the jump sequence.

Starting jump sequence, the ship computer’s voice announced. Charging capacitors.

BANG

A loud explosion was heard and felt through the entire ship and all the lights and panels went dead. The entire ship was in darkness for a second before systems reset and the emergency battery backup was engaged.

“What the fuck was that?!?” Logan yelled as he staggered out of the toilet vomit speckling his shirt.

“Fucking Delores tried to jump that’s what!” Clara yelled.

“Yeah, but that shouldn’t have caused… whatever happened. What happened?” Logan shouted as he stumbled towards his chair.

“What’s going on?” Councilor Morgan yelled.

“Everybody chill!” Clara shouted and then started going through diagnostics. “Oh God,” she gasped.

“What?” Logan asked frantically.

“The fusion reactor blew.”

“Well, restart it.”

“No, Logan. It didn’t go out. It blew,” Clara said with fear in her voice. “It’s... destroyed. The failsafes didn’t engage. It looks like it completely overloaded and burned out its core. It will take some time to figure out exactly what happened and I hope that I’m wrong but Logan… I think it’s gone.”

“… Sheila...” Logan hissed. Everyone on the bridge looked at him with realization and fear in their eyes, everyone but Councilor Morgan.

“What do you mean, Sheila?” he asked.

Ignoring him Logan activated the cargo bay cameras and intercom.

“Sheila!” he yelled over the mic.

“Problem?” Sheila replied smiling pleasantly at the camera.

“What did you do?”

“What do you mean?” Sheila asked innocently. “I’ve been right here, where you chained me up with this lovely young man standing over me with a gun in his hands. I couldn’t have done anything.”

“Cut the shit!”

“Well, lover,” Sheila said with an evil smile, “It’s simple physics.”

“What?”

“There are rules by which this universe operates, immutable laws. For example, quantum information is never destroyed, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, and my personal favorite, in this universe I don’t get fucked. I do the fucking.” Sheila looked up at the camera and smiled. “And you, my sweetheart, are fucked.”

“You have ten seconds to start talking or Toby there puts a bullet in your brain.”

“Ok,” Sheila said as she lounged in her chains, “There are a few key differences between your ship and mine and they are important, very important. First, my ship has a Helium-3, a pure Helium-3 reactor. Yours doesn’t. Your ship, like almost every civilian ship, uses a deuterium plant. The reactors are cheaper to build, easier and cheaper to maintain, and most importantly deuterium is dirt cheap as opposed to Helium-3. I have always complained about having to purchase Helium-3 but after today I will never bitch again.”

“What are you getting at?” Logan said angrily.

“Well, when pure Helium-3 fuses the products are plain old Helium-4 and protons plus some delicious energy. When deuterium fuses it makes a shitload of neutrons and I mean a lot of them. This normally isn’t a big deal. What we Terrans did was surround the good old cheap deuterium reactors with a force field, much like the ones protecting starships. When the fast zippy neutrons hit it, they lose energy and the field gains energy just like when a starship gets hit with a blaster. This is actually a good thing since in a reactor the overloaded force field is just bled off and the energy is added to the reactor output. It’s actually where the majority of the power comes from. Works great! They have a fantastic power output, burn cheap fuel, and are very safe. Now, if something were to happen to that force field...” Sheila paused and grinned at the camera.

“Oh shit!” Clara said as she started typing furiously on her keyboard.

“Oh, I don’t know… something like it’s shape changing for example… maybe changing from a nice neat tidy sphere to a rough parabola...” Sheila chuckled, “Well then the neutrons would just hit it once, give up just some of their energy, and then go zipping off… in one general direction...” Sheila smiled a pleasant evil smile. “Care to guess which direction that was? How are you guys feeling by the way? A little queasy?… A little pukey?… A little squirty?”

“Oh God...” Councilor Morgan gasped.

“Anyhow this theoretical compromised reactor would be generating a fraction of its normal power and be squirting neutrons left and fucking right...” Sheila laughed, “And if, again hypothetically, if the reactor’s load limiting circuits were disabled and other systems compromised it would continue to deliver power even if the remaining components were being pushed to the melting point. That poor reactor would be at it’s very limits and the second someone tried to charge their jump capacitors the poor little thing would try to deliver the power but would in less than a second finally overheat, start to melt, and blow apart.” Sheila grinned.

“You… BITCH!!!” Logan screamed and then doubled over and threw up again. “T-toby…” he gasped. “Shoot her. Fucking shoot her!”

Toby just stood there looking at the deck.

“Toby!” Logan yelled.

“Ol’ Toby and I have come to an understanding. Since we were both on the right side of that parabola we have a lot in common don’t we Tob?”

“Toby!”

“Sorry, Logan… sorry...” Toby said as he looked away.

“Oh it hurts when you get betrayed by someone you trusted.” Sheila chuckled. “Stings doesn’t it?”

“I’ll kill you!” Logan yelled as he staggered to his feet and stumbled to the doorway leading from the bridge.

It was locked.

“That won’t work. Your whole ship is locked down,” Sheila said with a pleasant smile. “In fact, ever since you guys left Bunny has been running the whole show, even throttling back your thrusters so you didn’t blow your reactor early. I wanted to be sure you got your recommend daily allowance of neutrons today.”

Logan screamed and pounded on the door.

“H-how?” Clara asked quietly as she drew her sidearm. “Tell me. How did you do it?”

“A magician never reveals their tricks,” Sheila laughed. “Ok, I guess it doesn’t really matter in your case does it? You guys fucked up from the get go. You knew. You fucking knew that we had complete control of the White Star. Every door, every turret… every sensor. Do you know how many microphones there are on that ship? Thousands and thousands of them. What wasn’t covered with a mic was covered by a camera and we have an AI that for some as yet unknowable reason was given the ability to read lips. I love Jessie. I really do love that wierdo. If that wasn’t enough didn’t you think it was a little odd that you guys got your own special tablet even though you weren’t involved in the operation, a tablet with a very good microphone? You morons even discussed your plans in front of a tablet that I gave you. How fucking stupid can you possibly be?” Sheila smiled wolfishly as horrified realization started to appear on Clara’s face as she picked up the tablet that was right next to her.

“I’m going to miss that tablet,” Sheila said wistfully. “It’s a doppleganger. Those are so very expensive and more importantly so very very hard to replace. Every time one of you touched it we got your fingerprints and DNA. Every time you looked at it we got your retinal patterns. Your ship has very good locks and a wonderful security system, one of the best biometrically based setups money can buy. I told him, you know,” Sheila said with a smile. “I told Logan repeatedly that I never, ever, ever have my ship abandoned during an op. There is always someone, a real live person, not a security system, not automatic turrets, not even Bunny… a real person on my ship, always always always. If you guys had just done that we couldn’t have pulled this off but no. As soon as I said you guys could go looting all of you just went scampering off, all of you. When have I ever let people not directly involved in the op go looting first? That’s your problem, Clara. You guys don’t think. I suddenly shift the plan, my plan, push back executing Morgan and then let looting take place before all ‘business’ is done? When have I ever done that, Clara?”

Clara just sat there shaking her head. It all made perfect sense in retrospect. They were lured away from the ship and they fell for it.

“Anyway, once you were away from the ship my chief, Jessie, and a very gifted Z’uush made their way onto your vessel and went to work. It took them hours but they modified the reactor, hacked your computers, and installed transmitters and receivers so that we could control what we needed to when we needed to. That’s why I let you guys keep on looting and playing even across the looting shifts, again something that I never do. Christ, Clara. I knew Logan was an idiot but you? I’m actually a little disappointed.”

“Oh God oh God!” Councilor Morgan moaned as he threw up.

“Yeah, councilor, sorry about all this,” Sheila said with a smile. “I was just going to shoot you in the head, nice and tidy. I really didn’t want to do you in by radiation poisoning. That’s a bit fucked up, sorry.”

“Oh where was I?” Sheila said as she continued, “Logan was right. I didn’t want there to be a shoot out on the ship. Too big of a chance of my guys getting killed when all I had to do was get you all in one spot, away from everyone, and blast you with neutrons. I also didn’t want you to get the merc teams involved. The last thing I wanted was a huge mutiny and shootout. Just like Logan knows me I know Logan. My weakness is my team. His weakness is greed. As long as you guys thought you had the upper hand he wouldn’t want to cut in anyone else so letting you think you won was tactically the best move. One downside of my plan is that even on the right side of the shield I have probably soaked up a rem, maybe two, but for a spacer that’s nothing, unlike you guys. Fuck. We don’t even know how much you guys have taken but from the looks of things you got enough.”

Logan laughed.

“Ok, baby-girl, you got me, fair and square. Maybe we can work something out? I got a lot of credits stashed back, lots of them. I’ll hand over the councilor and the bank computer.”

Clara just looked at him like he was an idiot.

“You don’t get it you moron!” the councilor shouted at him.

“Yeah, Logan, you don’t,” Sheila said shaking her head sadly. “You are already done. You could be lying on a hospital bed on Terra and it wouldn’t matter at this point. The only thing they would give you is stuff that Delores already has on her I bet. You’re already dead, lover. Every single cell in your body is going to slowly start to die and rupture.”

“What?” Logan asked in horror.

There was a metalic clang on the side of the ship.

“Oh, looks like my ride’s here,” Sheila said with a smile. The side airlock to the cargo bay started to cycle.

“Clara! Stop them!” Logan yelled.

“Idiot, they own us,” Clara said as all the screens went blank and then were replaced by a stylized picture of a rabbit. She then shrugged, put the barrel of her sidearm into her mouth, and pulled the trigger blowing her brains across the bridge.

“Clara! No!” Logan cried as he stumbled over to her body.

The airlock fully opened and Sheila’s crew, fully armed, walked in. Toby let them take his weapon. Jessie ambled over to Sheila and looked at her restraints.

“Pssh… Andersons...” She pulled out a small electronic device and pressed the only button on the front. Seconds later all of the cuffs unlocked and fell off.

“Thanks, Jessie,” Sheila said as she stood up and stretched. “Oh, my arms are stiff.”

Jessie then walked over to the computer, and started yanking out the drives.

“Wait!” Toby exclaimed. “Doesn’t that...”

“What?” Jessie asked with a grin. “I told you all you had to do was yank them out.”

“But...”

“The best lie is the truth told in a way that it won’t be believed,” Jessie chirped. “Didn’t want you assholes putting these up front.” She started tossing the drives into a shoulder bag.

“Ok, looks like we are done here,” Sheila said and they all started to depart. Toby started to follow.

“Wait, canary,” Sheila said, “Where do you think you are going?”

“But you said...”

“I said that you would walk free and my guys wouldn’t hurt you. I didn’t say shit about letting you on my ship. You really have to improve your negotiating skills, dude.”

Two huge Drax walked through the airlock.

“Fortunately for you I do always keep my promises though,” Sheila grinned. “Toby, meet Kash. He has his heart set on getting a human skull.”

“You promised!” Toby cried.

“I promised you that you would walk free and my guys wouldn’t touch you. I also promised Kash here that if something came up and there was a chance at him getting a human skull I would get him involved. Something came up and you, my little canary, have a skull. Lucky for you in order for your skull to have any worth it has to be a real fight so...”

Roberts walked up with a long chef’s knife from one of the kitchens and placed it down on the deck.

“Now I completely don’t have to do this but if you defeat Kash, who is going to be attacking you completely unarmed from the looks of things… well as unarmed as a Drax can be anyhow… I promise I will let you on my ship, treat any injuries, and give you that fifty thousand I mentioned,” Sheila paused at the airlock. “I will leave you two kids to get acquainted.”

With that she waved and walked onto her ship.

***

Kash was lying on the deck of the Paper Tiger’s cargo bay while Eno was squatting over him with a sensor and a med-kit.

“Damn, Kash,” Eno said as he pulled out a suturing kit, “You let him cut you up pretty good there!”

“Be sure to make it so they scar up nicely!” Volshugna said proudly. “My cub’s first kill! And it was a human! Not only a human but a Terran!”

“Yeah, Kash,” Eno said as he started stitching up Kash’s wounds, “That skull and this footage are going to make you quite popular with the ladies.”

“Yes, cub! You will be swimming in pussy! You will be rolling in it! Fuck, cub, you will be running from pussy! So much pussy!” Volshugna threw back his head and yelled. “Raaaahhh! Pussy!”

“Father please!”

“Yes! Don’t be afraid to call for help!” Volshugna howled with laughter, “Father please! Help me with all this pussy! Just think of it cub! Going from being a virgin to being buried in big shaggy nasty stinky Drax pussy! You will never have to touch yourself again!”

“On second thought, Mr. Eno,” Kash said still clutching Toby’s severed head, “Just let me bleed to death.”

“I have seen Drax die in many different fashions,” Sheila laughed as she leaned against the wall of the cargo bay sipping coffee, “This may be the first time I see one actually die from embarrassment.”

“Yeah, this is pretty brutal,” Greg laughed. “Oh, I checked the feed from Logan’s ship and at their current rate of speed we should be able to get good footage for the next couple of days if we use the White Star’s receivers, more than long enough for everyone on the bridge to die including the councilor even if they don’t kill themselves.”

“Good,” Sheila said as she took another sip. “So we will get footage of the councilor’s death after all.”

“Yep,” Greg replied, “Gonna be a grim editing job but we can still salvage it. I was going to ask Helena to do the editing since she is a pro but I think this one is now a job for Jessie and Bunny.”

“Yeah, I agree,” Sheila said with a nod. “Oh, I have to say it. You were right.”

“Boss?”

“About Logan I mean.”

“Yeah. I wasn’t going to say it but… yeah.”

“Greg, if you ever catch me thinking with my snatch again you have my permission to haul off and kick me right in the pussy as hard as you can. Just punt me across the fucking room.”

“Noted, ma’am. Not a problem,” Greg chuckled.

“Come on, cub!” Volshugna shouted excitedly, “Show me that skull again! Look at that beauty! That’s going to look nice on your belt!”

“On my belt? Are you crazy father?” Kash yelled. “I don’t want it broken! This is going in a trophy case!”

“You don’t have a trophy case!”

“Well I fucking need one now don’t I?”

Volshugna paused a moment and then danced a happy dance.

“You’re right! You do! We will get one made for you when we get back! And smart move cub!” Volshugna yelled with pride. “That way you can say, ‘Oh this scar? I just got it when I was fighting a blade wielding Terran warrior using only my teeth and claws, no big deal. Hey, want to see his skull? I have it in the trophy case that I keep IN MY BEDCHAMBER!!! Now you are thinking cub! Raaaggh!”

Sheila snorted and shook her head. “Parents...”

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