Unintended Immortality

Constable Luo returned late again that day.

His wife, Madame Wang, brought over hot water to wash his feet as before. Seeing her husband’s weary face, she couldn't help but ask, “Still haven’t caught the man?”

“How could we catch him?” Constable Luo sighed deeply. “That man is paranoid and cunning. We set up several traps, but either the methods were ineffective, or he detected them in advance and avoided stepping into them at all.”

“What methods didn’t work?”

“The ones suggested by the master at Taian Temple.”

“And the county head magistrate...?”

“There are still a few days left before the deadline.”

“In my opinion, this hard approach won’t work. The man may not be able to fly, but he can traverse through the earth. It’s too much to be asking all of you to catch him. It’s not as though you could possibly lift him off the ground so he can’t touch it?” Madame Wang said, carefully washing her husband’s feet. “You need to find a true master to help.”

“What other master can we find? The method of burying a manure circle was suggested by the master from Taian Temple, wasn’t it?”

“Where can we find another master?” Constable Luo said, feeling both frustrated and despondent. “I know some people who eliminate demons and exorcize ghosts. However, as you know, they’re just a bunch of bold folks who know some crude tricks. At most, they can come up with some lousy ideas, but they can’t really help me.”

“I think the young Daoist priest opposite has real skills. Why not go and consult him?”

“That young Daoist priest? A master?”

Constable Luo couldn’t help frowning.

“That young Daoist priest moved in next door several days ago, and he doesn’t seem afraid at all. He comes and goes as normal everyday. Tonight, I chatted a little with him and asked if he wasn’t scared of the lady ghost in the courtyard. Guess what he said?”

“What did he say?”

Madame Wang recounted the conversation she had that evening.

After listening, Constable Luo didn’t necessarily think Song You had displayed great skills, but he immediately thought he was a unique person.

“Not fearing ghosts might just mean he’s bold. Even if he has real skills, it doesn’t mean he can help.” Constable Luo said as he lifted his legs out of the wooden basin. He didn’t immediately place all his hopes in this. “If we can’t find a solution in a few days, I’ll bring gifts over and pay him a visit.”

Madame Wang crouched down again to dry his feet.

***

I alone am still sleeping until the sun is high in the sky; I am not an immortal but it’s better than being an immortal.[1]

Song You had slept until noon again.

He was getting up later and later these few days.

Sometimes he lay in bed until noon before getting up. Other times, he woke up early but stayed in his room meditating and cultivating until noon before going out.

This way, he could save eating breakfast.

In the afternoon, he would read. If the weather was nice, he’d go for a stroll, buy some groceries, and cook dinner himself. In the evenings, he would go out to enjoy the cool air. He would join the neighbors living around him to listen to them chat about domestic trivialities and experience life in Yidu City.

Every night, the ghost in the courtyard would sing a few songs or dance as usual. Sometimes, he could see her figure and features clearly.

She was a woman who was no longer young.

Once Song You got used to it, he no longer paid attention to her. He really just treated her as a diversion from the monotony of life.

He even developed a habit of listening to her songs.

He wasn’t startled even when she sometimes appeared suddenly at night. It was Lady Calico who was easily startled. She would often jump in fright when she encountered the ghost turning a corner or when the ghost suddenly appeared while she was doing something.

However, last night...

The lady ghost would sometimes wander through different rooms. Last night, she actually opened the door to Song You’s room and stood there watching him for a long time. It undoubtedly disturbed his sleep.

If not for his conscience, he would have blamed his waking up late on the lady ghost.

But this problem nevertheless needed a solution.

Song You thought about it and decided to go out and buy some yellow hemp paper as well as a brush, ink-stone and cinnabar. He would draw some talismans to stick on his bedroom door to keep the lady ghost away.

At the same time, more and more people heard about him these few days. They felt that he had real skills so they began coming to him for advice on dealing with being cursed and running into ghosts. Some also wanted to buy talismans to ward off evil or ensure peace. Song You thought this could be a good way to earn some money for groceries.

This was also a significant source of income when he was at the Daoist temple.

There seemed to be many shops selling miscellaneous items near the goulan washe. After his meal, he could go and have a look.

With these thoughts, Song You got up.

There was still some pickled vegetable porridge leftover from last night. He heated it up in the pot, and it became his lunch. It was quite tasty.

After eating and washing the dishes, Song You headed out directly. He just told the calico cat in the courtyard, “Lady Calico, I’m going out. Please look after the house.”

“Got it,” the calico cat replied, absorbed in playing and not even looking up.

Song You went out and walked down the little alley.

Not far along was a goulan washe.

As mentioned before, this was a comprehensive entertainment place with food, drinks, and leisure activities that thrived on the prosperity of Yidu. Even during the day, it was lively.

As he walked through, besides opera singers, there were also storytellers, wrestling and martial arts matches, pitch-pot[2] and archery games. Each had their own form of enjoyment.

Song You had come to buy yellow paper but could not help being drawn by an old storyteller and he sat down to listen.

He even ordered a pot of tea.

“Ayanqi led his own soldiers in relentless pursuit from water to land, determined to kill Marshal Ma right there. At the critical moment, Marshal Ma escaped up a small path. Ayanqi hurriedly followed, but suddenly a great general appeared on the road ahead!”

“What a majestic general!”

“He wore a black helmet, black armor and a black battle robe. He had black tiger-head battle boots on his feet and carried a red-tasseled spear. He rode a spotted beast. His countenance was like jade and his eyes were like cold stars!

“Behind the general were five hundred military officers carrying sabers. They were tall and each carried a great saber which was five chi long. The blade was two and a half chi and so was the handle. The great sabers were wide and thick with sharp edges. The backs were as thick as a finger and the edges slightly thicker. They shone brightly and coldly. Even from several zhang away, they exuded a threatening chill aura. Each man also carried iron-bodied bows[3] and eagle-feather arrows[4] on his back. Each of them was like a fierce winged tiger or a flood dragon[5] swimming in the sea...

“It was none other than General Chen Xin, also known as Chen Ziyi!”

“Ayanqi was stunned. How could Chen Ziyi be here?”

“More importantly, who among his men could be a match for Chen Ziyi? Who could stand against Chen Ziyi’s own soldiers?”

This was a true historical event in this world that happened a few years ago.

At the time, Ma Hong, the Great Marshal of the Third Army, carelessly suffered an ambush during a war in the northern part of Great Yan, and his army was defeated. Just as he was about to be captured by the enemy commander, General Chen Xin arrived. General Chen Xin was now a popular figure in storytellers’ tales. According to rumor, he almost single-handedly held off Ayanqi’s troops, saving the marshal and becoming a legend.

The old storyteller recounted this story with great passion, albeit with some artistic embellishments.

Song You was very interested in such stories.

It was mainly because he felt that such legendary tales would surely be recorded in history. In that case, people reading history many years later would most likely come across this story. Reading a story that he had heard a thousand years ago would be comforting for someone stuck in ancient times like him.

So he listened until the end before getting up to leave.

He hadn’t forgotten his original purpose in coming out.

After wandering around the entire goulan washe, he successfully found a shop selling yellow hemp paper.

While drawing talismans didn’t necessarily require yellow paper, it had become customary in both Buddhist and Daoist practices and among folk practitioners to use it a long time ago. Most talismans used yellow paper.

It didn’t have to be hemp paper either.

Normally, it was possible to use both rattan and hemp paper. Bamboo paper was rarely used, and xuan paper[6] wasn’t used at all. Usually, different places had their own customs. For example, where hemp paper was produced, yellow hemp paper was mostly used for talismans. In places producing rattan paper, rattan paper was mostly used. Yizhou produced both bamboo paper and hemp paper in abundance.

Song You was used to using yellow hemp paper.

This shop’s paper was well-made, thick and durable. Such paper wouldn’t easily discolor for a long time unless it got damp.

Yellow hemp paper was somewhat thicker and coarser than white hemp paper, with a light yellow hue. The reverse side had some grass fibers and paper scraps embedded, but these didn’t affect its usage. However, when Song You held up a sheet of yellow hemp paper against the sky and looked it over, he felt the color was slightly off.

“Sir, what’s the matter?”

“I’m not sure if it’s my eyes, but it seems a bit reddish.”

“Oh! Sir, you have sharp eyes! You noticed it right away!” The shopkeeper immediately forced a smile. “This batch of paper was made just yesterday. My naughty child accidentally mixed in some red dye during the papermaking process. However, most people wouldn’t be as observant as you!”

“I see…”

“Will it…affect your usage?”

“Not much.”

Hearing this, the shopkeeper immediately breathed a sigh of relief and boasted, “Sir, you’ve come to the right place. I’m not boasting but I believe my hemp paper is among the best in the whole of Yidu. Even the big shops’ paper can’t compare with mine. It’s just that my shop isn’t well-known. However, anyone who buys from me will surely come back!”

“Give me a bit of a discount.”

“It’s already the cheapest…”

After some bargaining, Song You bought a stack of yellow hemp paper, a brush, an ink-stone, and an ink-stick. He unexpectedly spent over three hundred wen.

He had bought the most basic brush, ink-stick, and ink-stone. If he wanted better ones, the prices would have no limits.

In this era, reading and writing were truly expensive.

He bought the cinnabar from another shop.

On the way back, he saw a butcher’s shop. Since he had already spent quite a bit, he bought over a catty[7] of pork and then some garlic sprouts. Then he returned satisfied.

“Creak…”

As soon as he opened the courtyard door, he saw a mottled shadow quickly running out from the house. She said as soon as she saw him, “Daoist priest, people came knocking on the door looking for you just now.”

“Who? Did you open the door for them?”

“It seemed to be the people you met at the city gate that day and the person living opposite.” The calico cat tilted her head and stared at him. “I didn’t open the door. You told me not to speak in front of ordinary people.”

“It’s good you remembered. You need not fear them like tigers[8].”

“What?”

“Were there two groups of people knocking on the door?”

“Yes, they even met at the door and chatted for a while.” The calico cat said, “They said they’d come back tomorrow.”

“Got it. Thank you, Lady Calico.”

“No need to be too polite.”

“I bought pork. Do you want it raw or cooked?”

“The same as you.”

“Alright.”

Song You didn’t bother anymore with that day’s visitors. He took the meat and vegetables to the kitchen and started preparations.

He cooked the rice, drained it, and put it in the steamer basket.

The prime pork hindquarter meat was cooked with Sichuan pepper and fresh ginger until eighty percent done, then sliced thinly. He washed and chopped the garlic sprouts. Under Lady Calico’s watchful eyes, he heated the pan with oil and stir-fried the pork slices over low heat until they curled. Then he stoked the stove’s fire and added the garlic sprouts with a sizzle.

Song You handled the entire process alone.

Yet, he wasn’t flustered at all but orderly in the midst of the busyness. He was seeking his own inner peace in this mundane human act of cooking.

Not many condiments were necessary. With just fermented black beans and soy sauce for seasoning, a delicious dish of twice-cooked pork was ready.

Stir-frying had only been popular for a few decades in this era, so this dish might not have existed yet. However, the aroma of a dish that should really belong many years in the future already filled the small courtyard.

1. An allusion to a poem “Hillside Sheep: One Ox and Half a Field” by Yuan dynasty poet Zhang Yanghao. ☜

2. Ancient Chinese game of throwing arrows into a pot. Refer to https://sites.asiasociety.org/arts/asiangames/power01.html ☜

3. A type of Chinese bow with a composite body that has metal added. ☜

4. A type of ancient Chinese arrow using eagle feathers for their superior flight qualities. ☜

5. A type of aquatic dragon capable of invoking storms and floods. ☜

6. Traditional Chinese paper used for calligraphy and painting. ☜

7. Traditional Chinese unit of weight historically around 600 grams. ☜

8. Chinese idiom meaning to be very afraid of something as one would fear a tiger. ☜

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