Tales From the Terran Republic

“Well, the good news is that nothing is necrotic.” a human doctor said with a reassuring smile.

“M’ bob ish gunna b ‘k?” Donna mumbled her head rolling on her neck. She was still having a lot trouble from the second-hand stun.

“Yes, eventually. There is a pretty good bit of tissue damage but nothing that won’t heal.” he turned to one of the guards. “You said that was due to a bite?”

“Yup,” a portly Kalesh female said with a little snort, “She and a couple of her cows tried to jump the wrong xeno.”

“Well, thank God that it didn’t have teeth,” the doctor said shaking his head, “With this bite force it would have ripped it clean off. I haven’t seen this exact pattern before. What species did this?”

The Kalesh laughed.

“An itty-bitty little Plath.”

“A Plath?”

“Yeah, it’s some sort of little frog looking thing. They don’t look like much. When I first saw it I thought they made a mistake putting it in max but fuck. It took on three humans at once no problem.”

“Nothing. It was too busy fucking this one up to worry about them. They were just punting the hell out of it and it didn’t even give a shit. Lucky for them we got there before it was their turn.”

“Yeah,” an armored human said leaning against the wall. “It took five hits from a prison rod before we could bring it down.”

“That’s medically impossible!” the doctor exclaimed. “We use them in zoos for God’s sake!” The doctor was astonished.

“Everything but a Plath it seems.”

“They can stop an enraged gorilla!”

“Well I was fucking there when it happened! We had to hit it five times to bring it down, no shit,” the human shrugged. “Medical yelled at us but they weren’t there. It just kept at this poor bitch. I think the rods hurt this bitch more than they did that little monster.”

“So the patient wasn’t directly zapped?” The doctor closed a document on his tablet. He had been documenting her condition in preparation for filing a complaint on the use of excessive neurological disruption on his patient.

“Not directly,” the Kalesh replied. “Those rods are pretty clean but we had to hit something latched to her tit five times.”

“So what happened to the Plath?” the doctor asked. “I know they claim that the rods are safe but that level of neurological disruption…” he trailed off. “That had to do something. Can I examine her?” he asked excitedly. “I would love to see how their physiology, any physiology, adapts to something like that! Where did they send her?” He was pretty sure it wasn’t here. He would have definitely heard about it.

“Where did they send her? Behind three inches of armored plate that’s where! She’s in the strongest cell we have!”

“What ?!?” The doctor was outraged. “She needs specialist care! I don’t care if you bastards claim these fucking rods are safe. That much disruption...”

“Hey!” the Kalesh snapped. “First off, I’m a bitch not a bastard,” she said gesturing to her torso. “Secondly, the Plath is fine. She just slept it off.” Ȓä₦օВĚS

“No fucking way!”

“Yeah, our doc couldn’t believe it either. Right now that little demon is walking around and occasionally climbing the walls… literally.”

What the hell are these creatures? The doctor wondered in complete astonishment.

“You want to know the really surprising part?” the Kalesh said with a chuckle, “The Plath are supposed to be wimps.”

“What?”

“Yeah, one of the prisoners we have is from the same sector. They say that the Plath are really weak. It’s just this particular Plath, Sheloran, who’s like this.”

“She’s a first class piece of work,” the human added, “The Federation prisoners say that she is some sort of supervillain, like right out of a fucking comic book supervillain. She’s done a lot of freaky shit. I mean she’s really fucked up.”

“Can’t believe they let her in the Republic,” the Kalesh said. “Thank the gods we got her before she really started cutting loose over here.”

“Yeah, they are going to ship her ass back to the Federation first thing on Monday,” the human said, “She’s going in front of fucking Judge Dredd. He’ll sort her ass out.”

“Judge Dredd?” The doctor asked completely confused.

“Yeah, that’s what they call this one guy. He’s a complete freakshow. He won't fall for her shit.”

“She’s fucked,” the Kalesh said. “They are going to shove her in a box and hand her over to the Feds. Funny, she pulled all of that shit and she’s going down over a little box of pirated media.”

“I’ll tell you one thing,” the human said. “I will be happy when she is out of our jail. We aren’t equipped to deal with something like her.”

“Don’t worry, Gail,” the Kalesh said, “They are going to keep her ass in solitary. No way we are going to let her start brainwashing people.”

“Brainwashing?” The doctor asked.

“Yeah, it’s one of her kinks. She likes to turn innocent little kids into murderers just for fun. I hear she uses video games or something. She took some little basement rat, fried his brain, and turned him loose. Killed a lot of her own people just for kicks. Never lifted a finger herself, just sat in front of her holo-screen with a bowl of popcorn. God knows what would happen if we let her slither around a jail full violent criminals.”

“And that’s just what they know about,” the human said, “Someone like that? No telling what else she’s done.”

“Woah,” the doctor said in horrified amazement. “She sounds...”

“Yeah,” The human said, “And the worst part, we let her run around our jail for the better part of a whole day before we slung her ass into solitary.”

“Gail, relax,” the Kalesh said, “It was just one day. How much damage could she have possibly done?”

***

“… and that’s how you rob a Federation bank,” Lucky said as she moved her bishop.

“Huh, it’s that’s it?” Visha said as she slid her queen across the board with a predatory smile. “Check.”

“Shit,” Lucky grumbled as a murmur issued from the crowd gathered around the pair. She had no choice but to move her last knight to block it. Visha tapped it with one of her own with a little “click”.

Lucky was on the ropes. She had a love-hate relationship with chess. Just like everything else Terran it was both delightful and delightfully fucked up all at the same time. She glanced over at the pile of cellophane covered delights beside them.

She was going to lose. Not only was she going to lose to Visha, again, but goodbye honey-buns. Fuck.

“It can’t be that easy,” another human, one of Visha’s crew, said as she eyed the pile of sugar glazed goodness on the table. It was a big pile, big enough for Visha to share.

“That’s what she says and she should know,” Lucky said as she carefully examined the board. Void take everything! She was about to lose her rook! She clicked her tongue against her teeth as she racked her brain. “She doesn’t know how the Terrans hacked the system but she says that Federation banks have a shitload of credits on hand, like six-figures easy, even in a little branch.”

“You can always hire a hacker,” Visha said as she sipped her tea, “Now are you going to move or what, cotton-tail.”

“Don’t rush me, you wrinkly naked meatsack.”

“Well I know something for sure,” Kalexala the Juon said raising herself up trying to get a better look at the board. “First thing I’m doing when I get out is getting that Outland Bound game! Imagine being able to just throw together a burner whenever you feel like!” The crowd murmured in agreement.

“You’re never getting out, bitch,” Lucky giggled as she continued to stare at the board. “not after what you did.”

“That’s what you think, ears,” Kalexala said with an amused ripple, “I’ll have you know I’m trying to cop a plea and get deported. I pull that off and bam! A few years in a penal battalion and I’m bathing in a tide pool with a drink in my suckers.”

“If it’s that easy then why are you still here?”

“Because the fucking Republic knows that’s what will happen. They want me to do the whole stretch, not wiggle free. I kind of pissed them off.”

“I can’t imagine why,” Lucky giggled as she continued to stare at the board. Fuck. She was in a bit of a hole there.

“Yeah, they have no sense of humor,” Kalexala said rippling with laughter.

“Would you fucking move already?” Visha said in annoyance. “Staring at it won’t make it any better, fluffy.”

“Fine,” Lucky said sliding a bishop to cover her rook.

“Checkmate!” Visha said as she moved a piece with glee.

“… Fuck.”

Visha laughed as she started tossing honey-buns back to her crew.

“Be sure to thank the bunny,” Visha chuckled as she grabbed the rest. Lucky just sighed and shook her head.

“Hey," One of the crowd said. “Speaking of that game we have a cooker right here in the common room!”

“Anyone touches that cooker and I will have their legs broken,” Visha said firmly.

“Only if I don’t get to them first,” Lucky added, “The thought of cold ramen makes me… annoyed.”

***

Monday afternoon Donna, sporting an eye-patch and her face covered in adhesive smart-bandages, hesitated at the entrance to the cell-block. This was going to be bad. She got her ass kicked by a fucking midget.

“Hey! Get in there!” a voice barked over a speaker.

She took a deep breath and walked inside.

Everyone turned to look as she came in. One of her friends ran up.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah… little hard… to talk but… yeah.”

“Everyone’s talking about it. They say you are lucky you aren’t dead!”

“...What?…”

“Yeah, turns out that little thing is like some fucking serial killer or something and that whole meek little alien thing is just an act. She’s a fucking monster.”

A crowd started to form around her as she walked across the common area. Most of them weren’t laughing, just looking at her curiously.

“Nice boob job,” Tizz said with a hiss-chuckle as she pointed at Donna’s bandaged left breast. “When are you getting the other one done?”

Now the crowd started to laugh. Donna glared at Tizz but didn’t say anything. The crowd parted as Lucky loped through.

“I fucking warned you, bitch,” Lucky said with a Xvli giggle. “I fucking warned you. (giggle)”

“Shut… up...”

“O… k...” Lucky giggled as the crowd snickered, “I… will… What’s the matter, Plath got your tongue?”

Donna just glared at her and pushed her way through the crowd and into her cell.

***

She mostly hid in her cell until dinner. Her friends reassured her that people weren’t laughing at her cause that little xeno was really bad news. She felt reassured and hoped maybe the whole thing would blow over without too much trouble.

God her breast hurt!

Things did go pretty smoothly for her the rest of the day, a lot better than she was afraid of…

Until dinner…

***

Donna and her friends got their trays and went to sit down at the bench where they always did.

“Woah. What the fuck do you think you are doing?” A scarred human female who had a large tattoo of the Sun partially eclipsed by the Earth on the side of her partially shaved head.

“...I’m… eating?”

“Not here. This table is for Terrans, True Terrans. Beat it.”

“...but...” Donna said in a very uncertain voice.

“Hey, she might have lost but that thing, that Sheloran...” one of her friends said in her defense.

“Yeah,” the tattooed woman replied, “That ain’t the problem. Oh getting your ass handed you to a fucking teacup xeno is bad but that we could overlook.” The woman glared at her. “Terrans can fall to xenos. Terrans fall. You knelt. You were on your knees crying like a little bitch and begging… begging for mercy.”

The table sneered at her and her “friends” backed away a little.

“Terrans, true or otherwise, don’t kneel, ever! You aren’t a Terran. I don’t know what the fuck you are but you are definitely not a Terran. Fuck off.”

Donna just hung her head and turned to leave.

“You two can stay,” the tattooed woman said to her two friends. Donna looked at them with pleading eyes but they just looked away.

“Sorry,” one of them muttered as they both sat down.

Donna wandered the cafeteria. Each time she approached a table she was glared at and people shook their heads. The only people she had befriended were the “True Terrans” and she had either pushed around or pissed off a lot of others.

The only bench left was the one used by the outcasts. Resigning herself to her fate she slowly started walking towards it.

As she did Tizz ambled past carrying her empty tray.

“Hey, Donna,” Tizz said with cheer, “You can sit with us.”

Donna looked at her with surprise and suspicion.

“That’s… ok...” Donna said as she tried to walk past.

“You don’t understand,” Tizz hissed, “You are going to sit with us. Lucky wants a word. She says not to make her come looking for you. You won’t like it if she does.” With that, Tizz walked away.

Donna just swallowed hard. Trying not to shake with fear she approached Lucky.

“Hey Donna,” Lucky said in a voice absolutely dripping with sweetness “Lost your place at the table, huh? That’s sad,” she said as she drooped her ears.

“W… what… do… you...” Donna started to say gripping her tray.

“I want you to sit down with us. Sit.”

“...no...” Donna said. She was on the outs with the True Terrans but if she sat down with xenos, she was done maybe even done for.

“Suit yourself,” Lucky said. “Anyway, here’s the deal. You’ve pushed around, injured, and otherwise pissed off a lot of xenos during your stay with us. The only reason you aren’t in the fucking morgue already is because you were sitting with those fuckstains over there,” Lucky said as she pointed at the True Terran table with one of her ears.

“And now,” Kalexala said as she idly flexed one of her tentacles, “you don’t seem to be sitting with them anymore. Looks like you are out of friends. Everybody needs friends in here, especially someone like you. You really need some friends and you need them now.”

Donna just stood there petrified.

“Yeah. You do,” Lucky said as she flexed her paw. Her claws had been trimmed but the gesture was still threatening. Those “soft” paws of hers have broken more than a few bones. “You’re in luck. Forgiveness is a big virtue in the Federation. We forgive you. In fact, we want you to be our friend.”

“I would absolutely love to have a pet," Txx-zzu buzzed. “I really miss my sheen-lizard.”

“I… won’t… no...” Donna said backing away from the table.

“You have two choices,” Kalexala said calmly. “Be our pet or PC out.”

“That’s right,” Lucky said with a quiet chortle, “Sit down with us, now, or request protective custody. Tell them you are in danger because you are.” Lucky added with a quiet little hiss.

“Don’t worry,” Kalexala said rippling with soothing colors, “We Juon know how to properly treat our subjects. We are firm masters, but kind as long as you submit and serve.”

“No...” Donna said with a quiver in her voice.

“Yeah, I could use a good brushing,” the large shaggy white furred alien rumbled. “especially along my back. It’s hard to reach there.”

Donna heard chuckling, human, Kalesh, and xeno, behind her. She started to back away.

“Not sitting with your new masters isn’t a good start but we are forgiving and kind and will give you time to think it over. Be in Zora’s cell, brush in hand, within two hours or be in PC,” Lucky said as she neatly snapped a carrot in half in her teeth and started to chew meaningfully.

“This is a one time offer,” Txx-zzu buzzed. “Think about it carefully. Really think about spending the rest of your time in solitary. Think about it because once we withdraw this offer it’s open season on your fat ass.”

“There are several of us who will never see the outside again,” Lucky giggled softly, “I needn’t tell you what that means.”

“And others,” Txx-zzu buzzed, “are probably going to be deported after their trial. Some of us really don’t want that to happen. A murder charge would keep them in the Republic, quite possibly for life. Some of us might prefer that.”

“Think it over and get back to us. Now ‘sit’ like a good little pet or take a walk,” Lucky said as she munched on a spinach leaf.

***

Her old friends, the True Terrans, just laughed at her when she went to them for help. They said that they would never stand for any Terran to be a xeno’s pet but she wasn’t a Terran so they didn’t give a shit.

The warden did let her talk to him but he told her the only reason he agreed to meet to was so that he could laugh in her face which he then he did. He told her, still laughing, to either go back to her cell block or into protective custody and that he really didn’t give a fuck which one it was.

Two hours later, on the dot, Donna stood at the doorway of Zora’s cell.

“Donna!” Zora rumbled happily as she pulled out her grooming brush. “Who’s a good girl? You are! Yes you are! Here, girl!”

Donna slowly walked forward and, hand shaking, took the brush and started brushing out the stiff fur.

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